Cancer and . . . Christmas

It is Christmas.  I don't have cancer anymore; I just deal with being mostly bald (I really don't care if people look at me cooky on the train), and occasional hot flashes (Kansas blizzards are awesome for relieving hot flashes in a hurry).  And yes, I am particularly grateful for friends and family and being here to enjoy them again this year.

This Christmas I am much more aware of people who do have cancer, and other difficult medical conditions, or are just struggling with situations out of their control.  I can't help but with a pang of empathy think of my friends from the chemo room who aren't done yet, and have to deal with so much more than hot flashes today.  In the big picture time keeps going, and we mark the days and years, through whatever life may throw at us.  We have no other choice, and sometimes we need a big holiday like Christmas to place our particular challenges into perspective, make us step back and compare this year to "normal" life.  That awareness can be joyful, or really, really painful, or even somewhere in between. 

I'm guessing most of this post is not new to you; it's the stuff you learn from growing older.  The fact that it's more of a new thought to me is a testament both to my youth and general good fortune.  I find the holidays a new kind of weighty in 2009, and this Christmas I am content and very, very blessed. 

Margaret: 2.6, Grazleda: 0

This is me, this morning. 

I am smiling very big for 3 reasons:

1) My AFP is down to 4.4.  That is to say, it continued to drop by 2.6 over the past month, without chemo.  Yay!!!

2) Yesterday I went to the dentist to get my teeth superficially cleaned.  Superficially because they didn't have time to get me in for a full cleaning, but squeezed me in, stayed late to get off the brown stain I'd developed during my no-flossing-allowed, lots of sugary drinks, and major changes to my body chemistry (i.e. chemo) time.  Yup, I think my bald head and cancer story (it's not my fault my teeth are this way!) made that one possible too.  So I am proudly displaying my pearly newly-whites.  Oh yeah, and that Crest Pro-Health mouthwash I was so fond of because it wasn't baking soda and salt water . . . apparently it increases tendency to stain.  Go figure.  And go Biotene. 

3) Today I leave to go on vacation.  Kansas here I come!!

Hanging Up My (Cancer) Hat, Literally

Today's project:
Turning this . . .

Overflowing Drawer of Headscarves

into this . . .

Beautiful Colorful Wallhanging

Not only does it solve the Way Too Many White Walls in my new house problem, it solves the What To Do With All My Beautiful Headscarves Once My Hair Grows Back problem (What a great problem to have!!).  My head still definitely qualifies as "bald," though it's starting to fill in slowly, so it's fortunate that this dynamic scarf storage system offers easy access to all headgear.  I would tell you all the ckraphty details, but this blog is about cancer, not home decorating, so you'll have to find out through some other channel.

Thanks to my friend Jodi who is visiting and was the inspiration behind this project!


Medical Update:
I feel great.  My eyebrows are filling back out to their normal, bushy selves . . .
Oh . . . I do have a little bit of real news.  My PT/INR (blood thinness) levels have been stable enough that I now only need to get checked once a month.  Meaning: I only have to get poked once a month until further notice.  Well, I do have another blood test tomorrow, an AFP count (the big one), but after that I'm on the once a month schedule.  I'll post the results when I receive them, probably on Tuesday, but I'm anticipating a nice, medically boring week and heading off to Kansas on Friday.

Grazelda's Favorite Hits - Part I

For this week's Cancer-tainment, I present to you the first in a series of Top Ten Lists. 
Top Ten Books I Read During Cancer (This is a non-ordered list.)

  Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
Well, I'm not quite done with this one yet, but once I got past the suggestively boring/heavy presence of "Kafka" in the title, it turned out to be really engaging.  One of those books where I have no idea what's going to happen next!

   Sleeping Naked is Green by Vanessa Farquharson
This book is not very engaging, the author's attempts at "going green" seem mostly laughable to me, and I haven't even read 1/3 of it, but it made a nice, light, fluffy read-aloud while I was in the ER with Grazelda.

   The Shadow of the Wind by Carols Ruiz Zafon
This book is so scary, there were times I couldn't read it before bed.  Seriously.  Good plot and well-written.  

  Everything Changes: the Inside Scoop on Living With Cancer in Your 20s and 30s by Cairol Rosenthal
Interesting.  Better than your average Inspirational Cancer Book.  Tells lots of stories of young folks who have much more dramatic experiences than me.  Trust me, this is the kind of drama I can happily live without, but some of the essence of experiences are the same.  

  Taffy of Torpedo Junction by Nell Wise Wechter
Though written for a younger crowd, this was an entertaining read, and very good for those nights on steroids when I was awake till 2am.  I did love the Outer Banks accents. 


  Twilight (and the rest of the series) by Stephenie Meyer
Just the right weight for a gal on chemo.  I have to admit to staying up later than I needed to keep reading them.  I also have to admit that there's this guy at my church who looks exactly like I envision Carlisle.  (Hey, Mark!)

  Widdershins by Charles deLint
Good characters, good plot intricate fantasy world, mixed with real world stuff.  Also sometimes a little too scary for 2am.  

  The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
This one I made my Dad read aloud to me when I was in random severe pain (Thanks, Dad!).  I also read it early in the morning during hospital stay #2, and then decided it was a little too scary for 6am.  Very good, very entertaining.  Highly recommended.

  The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University by Kevin Roose
Also highly recommended.  Entertaining subject with an honest and nuanced perspective, well written, and for a book about Liberty U, America's Holiest University, it even contains the kind of passage that made me stop the read-aloud when the pastor walked into my hospital room.  

  The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World by Eric Weiner
Now don't take this the wrong way, because this is a fine book on the paragraph/chapter level: The Geography of Bliss made an excellent keep-in-the-bathroom book.  Due to the nature of the author's survey, the chapters read fairly well by themselves and don't require much continuity.  And with some of those nasty chemo side effects, it is important to have good Toilet Literature.  

  The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows
I read this book on my Intermission Week because the church book group was discussing it.  We mostly agreed that it was mediocre.  I maintain that it was worth my time reading it so I got to go to book group.  

[were you counting?  If so, just consider yourself lucky you got a bonus!]

Part II will definitely be Grazelda's Soundtrack (top 10 songs during cancer), but after that I am open to more Top Ten _______ During Cancer List suggestions. 

Medical update: I got a cold this week.  Ugh.  And I'm still getting over it, but I am getting over it.  Cough drops and orange juice.  Not being able to breathe combined with the cold(er) weather inhibits my "Getting Buff Again Without Being Stupid About It" project.  That is to say, I probably only biked 20 miles in the past three days, and went dancing twice (contra and samba), so you probably shouldn't feel too sorry for me.