Quitting Chemo - and Cancer

I got a call yesterday from my doctor's office scheduling my next appointment: January 20!  I might not go into the office for two months!  In the meantime, I'll get my blood tested and a CT scan.  I'll have some phone conversations, and can call or go in if I have questions or concerns.  And I get to talk to Shirley every week about the thickness of my blood.  I don't usually believe in more than one exclamation point per paragraph.  But I'm done with chemotherapy!!  And that is cause to celebrate with excessive punctuation!!!

Yes, I won't have the five days of yuck, and my hair will start growing back.  I can go back to work, and stop using antibacterial soap unless I just replaced a toilet or something really nasty.  But quitting chemo is not simply a happy occasion.  I worry about having made the right decision, about every little twinge, burp, or upset stomach - is that Grazelda?  Or is it Grazelda's mutant, back for the fight stronger than before?  It sounds like some terrible made-for-TV alien movie sequel. 

In the meantime, I have places to bike, people to see, books to read, music to dance to, and furnaces to start up.  "Sitting out" for a few months can give a person quite the ToDo list, and I have barely started on mine.  That is to say, I may be too busy to worry much.  

I won't say good-bye yet.  I want at least one more blood test before I'll be convinced that Grazelda has been entirely annihilated, and I will definitely be sad to lose you all as such a wonderful audience for my rambling thoughts.  But for now I'll hope for medical boring-ness and try to post weekly.  Emails are always welcome [pennermk AT gmail DOT com] if you find yourself needing a higher dose - I'll do my best to reply quickly.

Oh yeah, and for old times' sake . . .
Chemotherapy Side Effect #92: Ridged fingernails.
I feel a little bit like a tree, but instead of rings counting years, I have ridges on my nails counting chemotherapy cycles.  They'll grow out with my fingernails, but meanwhile I have a reminder, in case I forget.